Sunday, July 10, 2005

Drug dealer uncle in Venezuela

By: CountChocula101's friend

This is the story of my uncle, we'll call him duche for obvious purposes. My uncle was involved in big time cartel drug dealing in much of latin America and especially in Venezuela. My uncle first went down to Venezuela in the late 90s to deal drugs and to ship them back to the states, but things went far from what he planned. The most entertaining of his stories from this far away communist land was when he saw bum get jizzed on by three guys! No seriously he really saw this!!! Anyway, he began to get in trouble in Venezuela when Presidente Hugo Chavez's secret police believed himt o be working for the CIA because of all his suspicious covert activity with the mafioso Venezuelan underworld. This was a percieved threat to Chavez because for a long time the CIA has been obsessed with overthrowing Chavez's Communist rule and replace it with a Neo-fascist dictator which would bow to American interests. Because of my Unlce's covert actions with these subversive pro-CIA drug groups, Chavez's secret police set him on fire and ran him over in a vehicle! Now keep in mind that at the time my uncle was a middle aged man in his late 40s. Despite his age, my uncle pulled through and is now a low life moocher using women he picked up to live off of. That is the story of my uncle duche.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

My Friend's Uncle

No my friend's uncle does not work at Nintendo. No, he is not a video game insider, but he is very very very wierd and I will be telling you some of the very strange stuff that has happened to him. Now, I warn you, many of these stories will be very vulgar. All of them are true. Believe, you probably won't belive many of them, but they are real stories. I promise. I would share some with you now, but...look I just posted like 4 things, piss off! I will tell you the story of "The Trip to Venezuala" tommorow! So be sure to check in. And don't be like those jackasses on Word of Warcraft who kicked me out of their guild for telling the story, EVEN THOUGH ALMOST EVERYONE IN THE GUILD THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY! BUT NOOOOO, THE GUILD LEADER WAS A RETARD AND ACTED LIKE AN ASS!

On the Frequency of Posts

Generally expect new posts every other day. Why? I usually go over to my friends' houses for most of one day, then the next day I stay at home. For the most part you're not going to miss much in one day. Also, many thanks to Falafelkid you has not only put me on his link list, but has also deemed me "reliable." I would put nintendo-revolution.blogspot.com on my links, but for some reason my format either doesn't allow links or is just really wierd.

Revolution Headset?


This pic-which is very likely a fake-depicts a very retarded looking Revolution controller along side the console. But what stuck my interest is the headset. For the most part almost every source (at least from what I remember) has said the Revolution's controller will have a built in microphone. So does this picture contradict itself? Not neccesarily, but it very likely does. The DS has a built in microphone and all sources I've saw have said the Revolution will too. But of course Nintendo would likely make a headset for those who want it. Main point: probably a fake. And the controller is looks stupid...yeah, pretty damn stupid.

Viva la DS Revolution!


Gamespy has posted a delightful little article that will certainly brighten the spirit of any DS owner...

Find it at: http://www.gamespy.com/articles/629/629905p1.html

Commie Claus



It is in my personal opinion that Santa Claus is a communist. Now I am not a commie-basher, in fact, one of my best friends is a communist, but I think the fact that Santa Claus is a communist should be known. Here is why I believe this...

1. Red- Have you ever noticed what Santa wears....red! Red, the official communist color.

2. The North Pole- Much like the Soviets, Santa Claus lives in a cold, tundra enviornment.

3. Gift Giving- Does Santa Claus make you pay for your presents? No! He gives them to you for free, all because you were "loyal." And his punishments involve coal...enough said.

4. The Beard- Look at Santa Claus, he looks almost exactly like Karl Marx.

I know Santa Claus is not real, but the image of him is that of a communist.

Hauptic Patent for a remote... or controller


Moz La Punk has uncovered a recent patent for a remote or video game controller with hauptic feedback:

A haptic feedback control device, such as a handheld remote control or handheld game controller, for controlling a graphical object within a graphical display and for outputting forces to a user. A housing includes a button, wherein the user engages the button with a finger. The button is depressible along a degree of freedom by the user. An actuator applies forces to the user through the button along the degree of freedom. A sensor detects displacement of the button along the degree of freedom when the button is depressed by the user. A process, local to the device, controls the actuator to generate the forces upon the button in the degree of freedom to provide a tactile sensation to the user contacting the button.

The controller that has been linked to it is pretty crappy looking in my opinion and certainly could raise the same controller issues that the N64 controller brought up. I'm hoping this isn't the controller.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Not in September?


This September Japan's answer to E3, the Tokyo Game Show, will occur. This raises a series of questions revolving around the showing of Nintendo's Revolution. Though Nintendo has not announced that it will not be at the show, the Tokyo Game Show website does not list them on the companies planning to make an appearance. So will Nintendo reveal all at the TGS? All we can do is wait. Nintendo generally does not participate very heavily in the event, but the last time it had a big presence was in 2001 (GCN and GBA). If I was Nintendo I would just host a Spaceworld; At least in a Spaceworld all the atttention is guaranteed to be directed at Nintendo,

Okami Game Sphere!


Even though this isn't new news I thought I might bring it up. As you may know Clover Studios (a subsidiary of Capcom) is going to release its much anticipated game Okami. Now, my problem is that this game is currently only coming out for the PS2 even though Clover Studios's games (Viewtiful Joe) has sold much better on the GCN than on the PS2. Though I will buy the game even if it is on the PS2, I would prefer it on the Gamecube. There's a larger fanbase that would appreciate the game (especially Zelda fans) and the loading times would be greatly reduced.

Rare on the DS?


Apparently Rare has just offered a job posting which asks for developers for a "unique system." Now as we all know, Rare was sold to Microsoft not too long ago. Wether or not Rare is even contractually allowed to develop games on any Nintendo system is not known, but what is known is that Microsoft would love to see the demise of the PSP, and if publishing games on the DS helps, why not publish them? I personally think Rare has been loosing some of its talent, but who's really complaining about Rare publishing games? By the way, is it my imagination or is something going on with Banjo and Kazooie in this pic?

New Revolution Logo


This has been out a while but in case you have not seen it, here it is.

Another Nintendo Revolution Blog?

I am an ex-Nintendo of America employee who has top secret information on the Nintendo Revolution which I will reveal in the coming months. Over the next few weeks I will be screwing with your emotions so I could get a chuckle every once and a while... No, but seriously, this blog is a compilation of all the semi-credible Rev news I hear about. Why am I doing this? Because I'm seventeen years, haven't gotten a job offering, and have nothing to do but sit around all day waiting till one o'clock (when my friends get up). Anyway, I'll be posting some Revolution news and might occasionally put out some personal opinions. Have a good time on the Super Happy Fun Nintendo Blog!